When the Truth Hurts

Recently, Roxie was looking for a recruiter to join her team. As a part of the application process we sent out a short survey to ask a few basics, hoping to narrow our candidate choices. Question A: "Why do you want to be a recruiter?"......seems like a good question right? On at least two occasions this is the type of answer we got "I want to be a recruiter so that I can network with industry professionals who may be able to help me find work in my chosen profession". REALLY? Well Missy thank you for the honesty. You have saved our company a lot of time, money and training effort by weeding yourself out of the running.

What were they expecting to hear? "Okay, great! That is perfect! You come join our team and we will put you on the payroll, so you can do your own job search. Hey, do you want commission when you are placed, too? Maybe a bonus for finding the perfect fit in the shortest amount of time?"

Honest? yes..... work ethics? Well we are not so sure! The Truth can Hurt!

Using a Phone OLD SCHOOL!

Let's face it even Roxie knows that nobody uses a phone these days, not in the traditional sense anyway. Sure I will get a text or email on a phone but the actual calls are few and far between.

Reason 1: easier to compose your thoughts in an email - that's fair but some of the email I get are less than composed honey.

Reason 2: a communication trail - this I do accept, but remember if you don't make sense or you miss-spell every other word it can be saved... it IS your communication trail.

People have lost phone skills, daily I get calls from potential candidates who don't introduce themselves, yet just start in talking AT me about what they need, not coming up from air to ask me if I have time to talk. Then they want an immediate answer and I am exhausted from the spill of explanation of why they called in the first place.

Roxie Tip: When calling your recruiter, identify yourself, ask it if is a good time to talk and make it an actual conversation. Everyone is in a hurry but no one responses to rambling, keep to the point and be courteous. People want to help you if they are able to and you get a lot more flies with honey than you do with vinegar my friends.

You don't send a deflated balloon to lead the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade!

"Desperation is like stealing from the Mafia: you stand a good chance of attracting the wrong attention." (Douglas Horton)

Unlike the celebrity world, not ALL attention is GOOD attention. If you are coming across desperate in interviews darling you may be missing the goal. Sad stories, hard luck woes or asking someone for their prayers in finding a job maybe not be the best idea.

As much as a person may feel sorry for your situation and want to help you, they also want to hire confident upbeat people.

Roxie Tip:
Be at your best in all interview situations, be it with a recruiter or a hiring manager, they don't want to hear your less than positive storyline. They want to be excited to have you on their team.

KNOW what you want, I am not a Palm Reader!

Roxie is wise beyond her years (well that is quite a long time now isn't it) she is NOT however, a mind reader or a mystic. Roxie has no special powers to tell you what you are looking for, nor does she have the time to guess at it! Applicants apply for things they are not qualified for or send cover letters stating "I can do anything". This plan may seem very cute and I am sure you are quite capable of many things but PLEASE don't make me guess what you are looking for!

Roxie Tip: Know what it is you are applying for, don't apply if you don't meet the qualifications and be clear about your career path. Most people are willing to help you if you have questions about your qualifications or need a little career advice. Randomly sending vague cover letters or applying for everything you see is just a waste of your time and the time of the hiring manager who's attention you are vying for. Sometimes a little research in your field can make a huge difference in applying for the perfect job that fits YOU!

Grow up and get a big girl email address!

Dear Younghotthing:

You are interviewing for a job with my company not for the dance club on Poor Taste Avenue.  Time to refresh your email address?  Still using that cute or provocative email address you gave yourself in the seventh grade?  If my first impression of you lands you in my spam folder you may not being getting the attention you want or dare I say deserve.

Chuckylover, pinkprincess, born2bewild, or hotmama all may need to be reconsidered in you want to be taken seriously during your job search.

Roxie Tip: When applying for a new job make sure you put your best foot forward, update your email address if necessary, you can always keep your previous one for sending email to your less mature friends and family members for old times' sake.

Yes Virginia this is a REAL interview!

As a Recruiter my biggest pet peeve are those folks who do not take a meeting with me seriously.  YES you are on a REAL interview, we are REAL people who are making REAL decisions on whether or not we are REALLY going to present you for a REAL job.  Come prepared, dressed appropriately and act professionally, just as you would for an interview with my client.  If you fail at an interview with me I will not be REALLY comfortable presenting you for an interview with my client.  REALLY!

Roxie Tip:  Recruiters are hired to find the right candidates for a client's job needs. They are the eyes and ears of the client and responsible for weeding through the numerous job seekers and finding the cream of the crop.  Treat a recruiter interview with the same professionalism you would when meeting with a hiring manager.

Roxie has a short attention span!

Here's a crazy thought my applicants: Name your resume document so Roxie can find you!
If Roxie has to open a sea of resumes called resume 2011 she may get bored and give up!

Your friend Roxie has the attention span of couch potato with a split screen and 4 remotes!

Roxie Tip: Name your document by your name example: R. Malone 2011 or  Malone Resume 11.  Your recruiter is adding several resumes a day to his or her desktop you want to be found easily to get a quick response!

Don't APPLY if you Don't QUALIFY!

Dear job seeking friends, good interviewers can see through the smoke and mirrors.
Please read job descriptions carefully and make sure you meet the requirements for the work.  10 years experience in sales management may not include the 5 years you oversaw your siblings successful lemonade stand.

Roxie Tip: Read job postings carefully before you apply, if there are specific requirements you must meet do not waste your time.  Some postings are vague so give it a try, but be sure to have the resume and credentials to back it up.

Oh that Interweb a recruiters dream!

Thank goodness Roxie is of the generation that her past antics are not online!  This old broad would be poor and unemployable if that were the case.  Just saying some things should stay locked in your closet my little darlings. If that google and wiki thing were around in my day there would be some explaining to do.

Roxie Tip: Know what you look like online, google yourself, like what you see?  Maybe a little editing on your Facebook page is in order.  Believe me friends, future employers are looking at you.

Some people cannot be helped by Roxie!

Once in a while Roxie will come across a lost soul, someone who cannot be helped, won't heed advice and is beyond listening to her interview and job search tips!

Take for instance Charlie Sheen, who will  be in dire need of a career counselor far more talented than the likes of a hard core, been around the block Renegade Recruiter such as Roxie!

Roxie Tip: Roxie just can't save them all! Good luck my Kitten or shall I say Tiger!

A Sign of the Times?

I remember when a tweet was something a birdie sang and a twitter was what happened when I saw Tom Jones in concert! (Kittens: look up Tom Jones on the interweb, he was a superstar back the day, kind of Justin B with sex appeal)

Roxie Tip: Stay up on the current use of terms,  you don't want to be twittering in the wrong situation. Embrace your inner tweet or at least understand what it is! Enough of my chirping carry on my darlings.

No SHOW is a no GO!

As a recruiter it is Roxie's job to meet the job seekers who contact our office.  Being stood up is an event that Roxie does not appreciate.

No SHOW my dear is a no GO!

Roxie's time is valuable! (After all there is the daily trip to the beauty parlor for the wash and set and the afternoon happy hour at the club to consider.)

Would you blow off and interview with our client?  We may never know will we?  Remember this meeting was for your benefit my darling.

Roxie Tip: If you can not follow through with any business meeting, call the party you are meeting and let them know as soon as possible.  Text and emails are less personal and may not reach the intended party in time.  An excuse the day after better be a creative one.

If the interview stinks it might be you!

Roxie has a sensitive nose, she can detect all the smelly odors you can bring to an interview!  So leave your coffee breathe, chimney reeking, garlic lover, overuse of cologne aromas at the door!  Clean clothes, clean breathe and a good dose of deodorant ought to do the trick.

Roxie: Successful interviews should be remembered for your excellent qualifications and for NOT your stench!

The shocking truth about my job: Roxie's Tell-all Secret revealed

You may be surprised to learn this dear friends:  as a recruiter  it is NOT my job to get YOU a job, it is however my job to find the right candidate to fill my client's job opening.

Show me what you got!  Convince me you are the best possible fit for the position in question or for future positions that may come my way to fill.

Roxie likes a little chutzpa!  Determination, ambition and charm are endearing too!

Help me, Help you!

You don't have to act your age sweetie.

Over the hill does not have to mean buried in the sand.  Get with it darlings, make sure you are up-to-date and knowledgeable on what the cool kiddies are doing. We all know experience speaks volumes, just ask Ole Roxie she can share plenty of stories of back in the day, but to stay afloat in the job market these days  you gotta think young, show some energy and keep up with the whiz-bang whipper snappers of today! Your 20 year old 3 piece suit, flip phone, and wing tip shoes may not cut it anymore Grandpa.

Roxie Tip:
In addition to professional skills, make sure you are up-to-date and knowledgeable about your industry, local companies, current styles,  trends and communication methods.  Not on LinkedIn, twitter or facebook? Now is the time to log on, blog on, get connected and join the NOW generation!

Roxie can't be distracted darling

Twiddlers, fidgeters, pickers and squirmers…let me tell ya, Roxie has seen it all. People do weird things in interviews, or anytime they’re nervous. How do you know if you habitually do something weird? Hon, you probably won’t even notice because it’s second nature to you. And the problem is, that’s all people remember; they won’t ever see how smart and talented you are. So do a mock interview with someone who will tell you the truth—that painfully honest friend, or maybe their dad. He’ll be a straight shooter, you know! And really, really pay attention to what you’re doing in that real interview when a job is on the line.

Roxie’s tip #:  No picking or wiggling. Nose, butt, ear or bra, it’s just not pretty and will severely distract your interviewer.

Dress Code for Girls:

Nobody wants to see that cleavage honey, us older gals may be jealous and well those boys don't need any more distractions!

Tip: Dress appropriate for your interviews, leave the low cut blouses for the clubs. (and order me a dirty martini, I going to change my top and meet you there)

Looking at your smart phone during an interview is not so SMART my dear!

I was meeting with this sweet young lady, good book, sharp as a tack. But she kept glancing down at her mobile telephone, you know, the kind kids call a smartyphone? Finally I had to tell her "honey, if you got something better to do let me know, but I'm tryin' to help you get a job."

Roxie's Tip: For an interview, always turn off your phone and keep it in your pocketbook. Or just leave it in the car.

Don't bring your parent to an interview!

This kid comes in to interview with me today, real smart, talented, cute too (old Roxie can do a little window shopping, as long as she doesn't touch the merchandise). Problem is, he brings his mom. I sez to him, "young man, you gotta do this on your own, next time leave momma at the mall." 

Roxie Tip: Whether you're going to work or going on an interview, leave mom and dad at home. Friends, family or your favorite pet will not get you a job.  If someone needs to drive you have them drop you off and you can call when you need a ride home.

Tired Old Resumes

Darling, if I need an iron to smooth out the wrinkles in your resume it may be time for a updated one.

TIP: Keep your resume updated in look and current in information.

PR Copwriters are my favorites

PR copywriters are some of my favorite candidates....Roxie loves a good spin now and again!

Going to the Grammys

I'd like to attend the Grammys with Justin Beiber, he won't be able to see he's with an older lady through all that hair in his eyes and forget the after parties it will be way past both our bedtimes.

Some call me a Cougar, not sure what that means but I do sometimes bite.

Bribing the Recruiter

Honey we don't take bribes here! However dear one, if you are coming to my office with a fancy coffee drink and not bringing Roxie (your new best friend) one too, well then you are just being rude.

Honey you have to stop applying here

You: dear boy are an actor, Donald Draper is a fictional character,  do I need to mention that it's 2011?

Welcome to my blog!

Welcome to my Blog!  I will share my unusual observations of the world of Recruiting with a comic flair and a twist of lime.  This is my outlet to release my alter-ego Roxie who is bold enough to tell it like it is and have no mercy!  All characters used in this blog are for the most part fictional and I promise there will be no animals harmed in the creation of these ramblings. (Leopard print leotards and rum runners are great accessories to have on hand) Enjoy!